Do I Really Have To Eat?

Yes, dammit, Ya Gotta Eat! This may sound simple and obvious but there are an awful lot of people out there who genuinely believe that if they work diligently enough, concentrate hard enough they'll eventually be able to simply avoid food altogether. A little or a lot overweight, maybe just "out of shape" it doesn't matter, our hero knows he doesn't eat right and knows that food is "the problem." This can take many forms but goes basically something like this:

"Great! A new day! I don't feel hungry so I'll just have coffee for breakfast. I've got a meeting this morning, that'll keep me busy so I don't think about food. I'll have a salad at the cafeteria and that'll be lunch."

The morning goes well, he hardly thinks about food, distracted by outside activities. Lunch comes and goes. "I skipped lunch and I'm not even hungry! Fantastic! I'm a rock!"

The afternoon drags on and then the wheels start to come off. "Man, I'm groggy, must not have slept well last night. Better get a cup of coffee. No, better, a 5-Hour shot!" (Ahem!)

He barely makes it out of the office and into the car. "Wow, what was that noise? My stomach!?!! I better get something to eat. Where to stop... Wendy's! I'll get the chicken sandwich, that's healthy." 14 seconds later he's in and out of the drive thru and has sucked down a sandwich, fries and a large Coke. All thoughts of "the diet" evaporating into thin air. C'mon! He's hungry!

At home, still ravenous, he looks in the fridge, doesn't see anything begging to be eaten and grabs a bag of chips and a jar of salsa and heads for the couch. "Just a snack. I'll make that Healthy Choice thing in a minute."

Half an hour, 10.5 ounces of Doritos, most of a jar of Chi Chi's Medium and one episode of Dirty Jobs later - "Well, at least I'm not hungry. I'll wait for dinner." Remorse and a little heart burn set in. All good intentions forgotten. "Dessert..." There goes a pint of Ben and Jerry's. "Oh, well, tomorrow's another day."

Depressed, not hungry but not satisfied either, blood sugar all over the map just for starters, our hero staggers off to bed to sleep fitfully, ready to start over with the same resolve and the same lack of results again tomorrow. And so on...

Sound familiar? Happen to you or someone you know? What's wrong with this guy? Doesn't he know he's killing himself? It's not that hard, is it? Where's his self control?

Our hero suffers what a lot of folks do. He hates food. Or more correctly, he's never developed a healthy respect and love for one of life's necessary joys. Americans have a twisted sense of the place of food in our lives. We tend to think of it as fuel, purely survival stuff, a necessary evil at the extreme. Any number of studies and articles have been written about "The French Paradox." The idea that the French eat more fat, consume more calories, drink more wine (the idea!) than we health conscious Americans and yet have lower rates of high blood pressure, heart disease and every other "Western disease" than we do. Part of this is in no small way due to food quality (more later) but a the major factor is that the French ...wait for it...enjoy eating. They actually like it! They eat with friends, they celebrate events with a meal, the idea of eating in the car never occurs to them. They shop daily to pick the best stuff they can find. They actually like shopping, cooking, eating, sharing in the process of something many of us apparently force ourselves to do seemingly against our wills.

It's time to get over it, folks. Some simple things:

1. Give eating it's proper place in your life. If you never miss an episode of "Lost" yet skip breakfast 4 days a week, there's a problem. Get your priorities straight.

2. Spend as much time making a menu and a shopping list as you do screwing off online. You know who you are. Eating is your life, for god's sake. It's not that hard.

3. Set aside time to eat. Even if you eat at your desk, clear stuff away, take a deep breath, make an effort to enjoy your meal. At home, turn off the f%*$ing TV!

4. If I catch any of you eating in the car it's over between us. Seriously, if not for yourself then for the kids. Don't do it. Show some respect for yourself and, yes, your food.

5. Don't go around hungry. When you prepare stuff make more than you need and have food available. Take a snack with you, always. If you have to feed on the run, deli meat, a piece of fruit and a handful of nuts is a great snack or quick meal. Food is your friend.

There are other things but this'll get you started. And I'll expand each of these topics in future posts. The big thing is start learning to enjoy eating. You can't avoid it, get into it!